The Overthinker’s Bucketlist

I’m finding myself to be quite restless at the moment. I spend all my time thinking how differently I want life to be, how differently I want myself to be, and not a lot of time actually enjoying what I have.

The truth is I find myself in some sort of personality or life crisis almost every year. Well, it’s probably more like every three months, but when the weather gets warmer, I really start craving a different life of adventure and smiles.

I’m suddenly hit with the overwhelming feeling that everything is wrong and everything needs changing and fixing. Like I should be somewhere different with my life by now, and it’s almost as if there’s someone else living inside me that’s waiting to show their true potential.

So I thought I’d write a bucket list. Well, actually Laura thought I should write a bucket list. My version was going to involve writing possibly 22 posts moaning on and on… Luckily, you have been saved and my weird and wonderful desires have been condensed into list form.

Some things on my list may seem small and trivial to on-lookers, yet are a little ‘out there’ for me to actually follow through with, without overthinking it a gazillion times.

T H E   L I T T L E S T   T H I N G S

CHOKERS

I never thought chokers would come back, but boy have they developed since my 00s days of wire-y plastic bands with matching bracelet and ring for £1. Now, chokers are cool, they’re even beautiful.

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I can’t quite decide if chokers are my style, or whether I even have clothes that require a little neck decoration. For now I’ll just appreciate them from afar, and watch blissfully as my bank account remains at a good very low level.

Wish List Rating: 2/5
Overthinking Rate: 4/5
Am I really the sawcy type for chokers, really?

TATTOOS

There’s two tattoos I’ve always wanted, but never quite taken the leap into the unknown and allowed my body to be scraped and pricked with tiny needles filled with ink…it just doesn’t sound as appealing like that, does it? 

The first tattoo I’d like is a semi-colon, though I’m less attracted to this one since Selena Gomez and the cast of 13 Reasons Why recently got it after filming…

The Semi-Colon Project was set up by a woman after her father committed suicide. The idea is that by using a semi colon, the author (a person) chose not to finish the sentence (his life) and the story continues. It’s aim is to raise awareness of mental health and suicide, and it’s something that has stood out to me as a worthwhile, meaningful symbol.

The second tattoo is the chemical diagram of Serotonin.

Having suffered from Depression, Anxiety and Cyclothymia, I like the idea of permenantly having a ‘source’ of serotonin – to help me along the way when things get bad. I’ve wanted this tattoo for years – so much so, I’ve spent days with a sharpie pen version on my wrist, and even bought temporary tattoo versions – as a way to wear happiness on my sleeve.

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Tattoos to me are fearless and cool – two things that I am not.

Wish List Rating: 5/5
Overthinking Rate: 10/5
ITS GOING TO HURT SO BAD. WHAT IF I DON’T LIKE IT AND I RUIN MY SKIN FOREVER

FAUX GLASSES

I’m the kid who cried every opticians appointment when I was told I had perfect vision.  I’d spend the whole time in the waiting room picking out the glasses I wanted, to find that my best efforts weren’t required.

And after 15 years of pokes to the eye, sand, firework ash, and flies finding their way into my retinas, I’ve still got dat 20/20 vision.

So maybe I could just get some fake plastic nerdy ones: Because I love glasses and the way they frame my face and the idea that they make me look like an undercover superhero.

Wish List Rating: 2/5
Overthinking rate: I would never be comfortable to wear such fraud outside. If I just cared a little less what people thought, I’d be up there with the rest of the fakers.

A C T I V I T I E S

LEARN A LANGUAGE

*Learns two languages in school.*
*Absolutely will not speak said languages in fear of offending someone*

My fear has always been offending someone; whether they’re pissed off at the fact I pronounced something wrong, or the total opposite: what if they actually think I speak the language and proceed to then ask me plenty more in their native tongue whilst I stutter and stammer my way through? Not to mention that French and Spanish are no longer my strong points. I just cannot retain that sort of information.

I want to learn a language. Inside and out so I’m confident in speaking and immersing myself in another culture. Spanish and French are good places to start, but Mandarin and Italian I’d also love to take a stab at.

Wishlist Rating: 4/5
Overthinking Rate: 5/5
What if I fail, or can’t. And let’s be honest, I’ll never have the motivation for this. Ever.

A SUMMER TO REMEMBER

It’s not like when we were little, is it? Without six weeks off, Summer isn’t quite the same…
But I want a summer to remember forever: Parties, barbecues, camping, hikes, holidays and more. I want to see the sights with my friends and stargaze and visit the beach. I want to go to a festival and forget we’re all getting older and just dance and laugh.
We used to have so much spontaneity in Summer, but with jobs and adulthood in the way, these things take planning. And ugh, why.

Wishlist Rating: 5/5
Overthinking Rate: 5/5
Everyone has their own lives and schedules now. If nothing happens or goes to plan I shall feel distraught. 

T R A V E L S

NEW YORK

NYC must be on everyone’s bucket list. The city that never sleeps? One of the most iconic cities for films of all time? The place where Buddy The Elf was reunited with his Dad and saved Christmas? What’s not to like.

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When I was little I had my whole life set out, and it revolved around moving into a beaut apartment in New York and being a journalist or columnist. Of course, in the Summer I would stay at my other home in sunny California whilst filming my latest role in the upcoming year’s blockbuster.

After studying a lot of geography, it dawned on me that America is really screwed when it comes to natural disasters. And I have enough to worry about in the UK, without having to thinking about earthquakes and volcanic eruptions every other day thankyou. (Of course this is the only reason I am not fulfilling this very realistic dream…)

Wishlist Rating: 5/5
Overthinking  Rate: 0/5
It’s happening.

DUBAI

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My papa now lives in Dubai so this is an inevitable travel adventure I’ll be taking this year. I hope to settle nicely, and visit as often as possible. Hey, maybe I’ll become a travel blogger with a colourful array of free swimsuits from all my branded followers…

Wishlist Rating: 5/5 – Miss ma pops.
Overthinking Rate: 4/5
This is going to be the longest flight I’ll have ever taken. 

ITALY

I fell in love with Italy whilst Inter-railing. And as it was my first time there, I did not expect to fall so hard, so didn’t actually spend huge amounts of time there. I’ve visited Rome and Venice, Florence, Pisa and Milan but I need to see it all.

The whole country is beautiful and let’s not forget that it’s 100% a-okay to fill yourself with carbs constantly.

Wishlist Rating: 7/5
Overthinking Rate: 0/5
Pasta is my God.

KOREA & JAPAN

Is there anyone out there who isn’t remotely intrigued by Eastern culture? Probably not. It has such a huge impact on western life that it’d be rude not to go explore.

Japan has the best of the rural exhibition mixed with a city getaway, and whilst I think it’d be an extreme attack on all senses in one go, it’s vital I see it all. The same for Korea (plus it’s super cheap).

Wishlist Rating: 3/5
Overthinking Rate: 3/5

WORLD MAP MURAL

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Fitting in with my wanderlust theme, I’ve been scouting out world map murals that cover the whole wall. Am I ready to dedicate my whole room to map themed interior design? Not quite. But it’s certainly in my mind for the future.

Wishlist Rating: 3/5
Overthinking Rate: 2/5

MY OWN HOUSE TO DECORATE

Without getting too political, the chances of me having my own house is becoming a little too unrealistic for my liking. But if it does happen, my life will be spent in overalls and stalking Pinterest for my next project.

I’m pretty bored of moving around now, because I want a space to call home, and constantly being a tenant just isn’t doing it for me.

The other issue; where? I’ve moved so many places that I wouldn’t know where to plonk my little self down to start the rest of my life. Sad to say, it would probably be back in Yorkshire – I am adamant that The Midlands has a personal vendetta against me.

Wishlist Rating: 5/5
Overthinking Rate: 5/5
What if I don’t choose the right place for my forever home? How and where do I want to spend the rest of my life?

CITY APARTMENT

Meanwhile… my younger self’s hope for a city apartment has never ever changed. I had one, loved one, lost one and now would do it all over again. There’s plenty of benefits and beauties that come from having your own house, but I think I’m secretly more of a city gal if it comes to apartments. A flat in the sky in a big tower with pretty much all glass walls and exposed brick and my own elevator. Yep, that’ll do me.

Wishlist Rating: 5/5
Overthinking Rate: 0/5

S E R I O U S  D E S I R E S

MAKE NEW FRIENDS

We’ve been in the house  since November and I am yet to make a friend. Granted, I haven’t put myself out there, but how do people even meet other people these days? It’s not like school where you’re thrown together by necessity. And I feel like everyone already has their friends and then there’s me. Derby’s pretty up on the social students scene, but I’m sort of passed that age, and in between real adult socialising and still in the place where everyone younger than me ‘is like 12’.

Wishlist Rating: 5/5
Overthinking Rate: 5/5
I cannot even begin to describe the amount of thoughts I have when it comes to meeting new potential friends.

HAVE A LIFETIME BEST FRIEND

We’re talking like sibling style best friend. A best friend like the one that appears in a million Buzzfeed lists. The one that tells you like it is and doesn’t judge you. The one who turns up at your house whenever they want to gossip and eat ice cream.

The type of best friend you can ring in the middle of the night, and can’t possibly go a day without talking to. Who you can have deep conversations with in the middle of the night, or lounge around with each other, barely muttering anything whilst watching re-runs of Man vs. Food.  Essentially I want a platonic husband or wife who is there for everything big in my life. And the little things too; a friendship where we know absolutely everything about each other and get to experience it all together.

If I ran away, they’d know where to. If I wasn’t feeling good, they’d know why. If I had something exciting to say, they’d be first choice to tell. And the same would be the other way round.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a few friends. And I have a best friend, that I never see. But without the bonus of being able to escape with each other whenever we need, it’s tricky knowing if the friendship means as much to them as it does to you.

I want the sort of best friendship that will inspire others, and we’ll be iconically known for being together all the time.

Wishlist Rating: 5/5
Overthinking Rate: 4/5
I’ve been wanting this my whole life and I’m just not sure anyone likes me enough. What if I never have this sort of friend? Why is this more stressful than when you’re on the dating scene?

TO NOT CARE ANYMORE

Hah. Wouldn’t this be nice? Essentially this is what it all comes down to, because without this key element, I feel like I’ll never do anything on my list.
I don’t want to care what people think or what people might think. Because why should I? 

I want to learn to live again. And live life to its fullest. This obviously sounds dramatic, but sometimes I just want out. I want a different life, a different character to play. I want to take some of my personality and mix it with another that can truly appreciate life and it’s excitement.
So I’d love to not care anymore – to give it all away to feel free and crazy.

I guess there’s a tonne of other things I want too. The main thing is probably a husband/wife friendship. It’s interesting to write these things down, and narrow everything down into a number of main things, rather than having a full head of ideas and desires.

What would be on your bucket list? 

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