When Did Conversation Become So Hard?

This post is brought to you by Miss Cellophane.

Or, Abi. A girl who somehow finds herself relating to a man who’s wife cheated on him then murdered the guy, pretended she was pregnant for the fame, and completely forgot about her husband.  Even while he was in the room.

If you don’t understand this reference, GET EDUCATED

The other way I relate to Cellophane? I’m clingy as fuck. 

On a scale of 1 – 10, (1 being budget clingfilm – ie. not.at.all, 10 being the boy who needed to listen to my voice till he fell asleep or played with a strand of my hair that fell on the table for a bit ~too~ long), I’d say I’m a strong 6.

Talk to me once and I have every intention of being your bestie.

I actively envy Jake Peralta for having such a treasure like Charles Boyle – so much so, I’ve started a hashtag #bemoreboyle to encourage my best pal to love me more.

If this reference also means nothing to you, GET EDUCATED. 

And why am I saying all of this?

Because I just can’t understand when conversation and friendship became so hard?

One of my biggest fears in life is one day dying alone and just being left in my apartment for years (thankyou Netflix documentary Dream of a Life for that one)

Instead of finding myself with a smaller, tight-knit group of besties as I’ve got older, I’ve lost almost all the close relationships I’ve ever had. Sure, I’ve moved away a couple of times, but we’re no longer in the 30s.

I have 8 ways of communicating on my phone alone. Location isn’t a problem for my generation when it comes to staying in touch. Because let’s face it, it doesn’t matter how far or close we are, all the magical technology to defy the laws of distance and travel are right there in your hand probably right now. Or when you’re lying in bed before sleeping – no doubt you’ve got it then, too.

So when did it all become so hard?

I dream of group chats and spontaneously hanging out. But honestly people replying to messages or – heaven forbid – creating conversation would make me the happiest and healthiest gal.

Because without conversation, or without responses or those people checking in asking how we are when we secretly most need it, how do we value ourselves? Have we overestimated our worth? When do we get the break of finally having the friendships we’ve worked for and yearn for? Or when do we give up waiting endlessly for them to start a conversation for real, rather than waiting a week, getting angry and trying again?

My friend once said he was a ‘more talk-in-person’ guy because he was a shit replier and could potentially take a week to reply. Some people say they had time to read or see it, but didn’t have time to reply… days later. Other people say they’re busy with work. Others say they get sidetracked. Luckily though, none of those things make you different.

We’re not teens anymore – we all have jobs and responsibilities and sidetracks – so what’s really the reason? The reason for those friendships that used to be a constant, that fizzled out after that one time they didn’t reply… and then never spoke to you again?

And this seems like a personal random rant, because it is. Coming from a girl who has always taken her mum’s advice that ‘both people have to make the effort in a friendship’, and ending up constantly the only one to make effort, I honestly can’t fathom how we live in the generation of handstucktophoneitus yet are probably the loneliest.

Technology hasn’t made us more communicative but it jolly well should do.

At school we would be constantly on phones texting and using up our credit in a single day, telling our friends absolutely nothing despite only seeing them half an hour ago at school. And now, days or weeks or months can go by with no conversation whatsoever . Why?

Can’t we go back to welcoming conversation with open arms? Back to where friendships mattered; where we knew each other’s lives but could chat about nothing all at the same time?

Look through your phones and rather than flicking through Facebook statuses or instas, actually send a message to someone you care about; make plans with those friends you forgot to make plans with; stop with the excuses of adulthood getting in the way.

Conversation is easy

Actually easier than ever

And friendships shouldn’t fizzle because of something so simple

Make the first move

Make the plans

Start the conversation

You might be waiting forever if you don’t

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